tr?id=690981035026744&ev=PageView&noscript=1 Dealing with Uncertainty
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Dealing with Uncertainty

“Uncertainty is where things happen. It is where the opportunities for success, for happiness, for really living are waiting.”

Martha Nussbaum

The uncertainty of not knowing where you stand in a relationship or what the future may hold can fill you with anxiety and dread. 

Uncertainty can make you feel unsafe, confused, frightened, immobilised and out of control.  The same can be said about change, but a certain amount of change in life is a given; if it wasn’t, life would be quite dull!  

So, in life there are going to be times when you have no idea what the outcome of a situation may be, it could go one way or it could go the another, on most occasions you won’t be too bothered about either.   However, uncertainty and change arising from a relationship breakup is on an entirely different scale.  The feeling of being in limbo is often the hardest to deal with because most of us find the unknown in such a situation a very uncomfortable place to be. 

To deal with uncertainty in a productive way, you first need to acknowledge what you do know.  For example, you know that your partner has just left you or you have left them.  What you don’t know, is what is going to happen as a result of that?  

Relationship related uncertainty is eased by finding immediate practical solutions.  For example, if you suddenly find yourself on your own and the financial implications of that situation are worrying you, then challenge that uncertainty by seeking practical money advice. Getting help from qualified financial advisers will shift your sense of unease so that you have full knowledge of your money situation, your financial choices and that puts you back in control. 

By doing something positive, you are not taking away the uncertainty in its entirety, but are shifting it. As a consequence, you feel more comfortable and at the same time, you are finding a solution to the problems you may be facing.  Resolving uncertainty helps you become more self-assured. You are more confident about what to expect and what is achievable. When you have reached that stage, it will open the door to more choice and opportunity for you, as you begin to move forward. 

If you view uncertainty as a stepping stone to improving your life choices, rather than immobilising you and leaving you in fear, then life can move on and things can change for the better.  If you can face the challenges of uncertainty with an optimistic and curious mindset, then it will serve you well. 

Make a start today, by acknowledging what is causing you uncertainty.  Make plans to address them one by one.  In doing this, you will see them for what they are and be able to see things more clearly. 

Try These Ten Practical Tips:

  1. Embrace uncertainty, don’t fear it and certainly don’t dwell on it.  Small worries can quickly escalate.
  2. Focus in the short term on what you do have control over and what you know to be sure.
  3. Take stock, write a list and start to make simple plans to address each of your uncertainties.
  4. Be brave; you will feel so much better when you face your fears and break them down into manageable chunks.
  5. Ask for help and talk to people you trust. You will probably find that they are delighted to help you.
  6. Be prepared for different opportunities and have contingency plans.
  7. Focus on what you can control and don’t see everything you can’t control as a failure; it isn’t!
  8. Try to stay positive and don’t let your mind wander to negative thoughts.
  9. Don’t aim for perfection; there is no such thing as a perfect decision – it’s what is right for you that matters.
  10. Trust your gut instinct; it’s rarely wrong.

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